I heard Pegine speak at my Leadership Weekend in March of this year. One of the things she spoke about was the concept of “earning our wings” by helping others, and giving others the chance to earn their wings by asking and allowing them to help me. To symbolize this, she would give out feathers.

I was wondering if she had a written piece to accompany that part of her talk? It’s something that has touched my heart since hearing her, and I’d love to share it with my team at our upcoming meeting. I thought a detailed piece from her would be better than my interpretation! Thank you!
Tina Mora
Cookie Lee * Independent Exec Director * Mercedes Earner

Tina, you’re your wish is my command.

Isn’t wonderful to help people? I don’t know about you, but when I help someone it feels so good. I get pumped up, I feel like giving myself a high five. It feels great to make a difference in a person’s life. I’m sure that many of you help many people. Always willing to listen to someone, offer your thoughts and ideas, helping them move something or perhaps paying for a lunch or dinner. When you do that you feel good, don’t you?

As a matter of fact, when you help someone you stand taller, are more confident in your abilities, and appreciate your own growth, it is your validation. I just submitted a story to a reporter on small acts of kindness. I shared how a small act that I did resulted in an incredible reward.

The story, in short, was about when I was waiting for my cell phone to be programmed. The store was running a promotion. They were hosting a Hannah Montana concert raffle. My daughter is nineteen and away at school so it didn’t matter to me, because I knew she wouldn’t be interested. I walked around the store and then passed the raffle booth again.

I thought to myself, oh, why not. I filled in two forms putting my neighbors’ daughters’ names in the ‘girls’ name area. I forgot about it a few minutes later. Hours later, when I was exhausted, lying on the couch watching a show and not interested in talking to anyone (hard to believe, I know!). The phone rang....I didn’t answer. It rang again...I wasn’t going to answer...then it rang a third time...”Oh alright” I muttered.

A really lively happy person said “Hi this is the Rick (or something like that) and I’m from (and he names the local radio station) you won two tickets to see Hannah Montana and meet her back stage, the tickets are for Alex!”

I was shocked. I called my neighbor, who wasn’t home. I told them it wasn’t life or death, but it was an emergency. The following morning at 7 am they called me back. I shouted...”You won two tickets to Hannah Montana”. The screaming in Florida could be heard for miles.

They went to the concert, and met Hannah Montana (aka Mollie Cyrus) . They were able to get two more tickets so the whole family was able to go; although only Alex and her mom were allowed to meet Hannah Montana (Mollie Cyrus). They have pictures of the event. Alex was a superstar at school. Most importantly the family has a life long memory that would not have happened without that small act.

I felt like a million dollars. I made a difference...”How cool am I?” I thought. Yes I admit that I did a major dance to my own song.

Do you know that feeling? The way you feel when you really make a difference.

Then there is the other side. When you need assistance and have to ask for help, advice, or support. For many of us that is more difficult and challenging. You want to be viewed as strong and capable. You want to be able to take care of things on our own. You don’t want to be seen as weak, lacking or worse...inferior. So you don’t ask for the help – even when you are suffering, frustrated, overwhelmed and just plain tired. You don’t ask for advice even though you don’t have a clue how to do the task. For some reason you think that you are supposed to know how to do something even though you never did it before.

You compare your insides to others outsides. You think that everyone has it together and they know how to do something or achieve something without any trials or tribulations. Too often people believe that successful people always knew how to be successful and that they became that way without asking for help. People get bogged thinking that others don’t think the way you do, or have the same feelings that you have.

I know from firsthand experience, I didn’t embrace the concept of asking for help. I didn’t want to be seen as weak. I didn’t want to remove my mask. I thought that everyone else had it going on. That they knew something I didn’t, and I didn’t have a clue how to find it, learn it or do it. So I suffered, I suffered financially, emotionally, intellectually and socially, and I suffered alone.

I have since learned that I am not alone.

I had to learn a new way of thinking. I had to change my mind, thoughts and perceptions of receiving help. I created “Feather Rewards (R) – Earning Your Wings”

It was hard for me to accept, or ask for help or advice, or even imagine that it was okay and even critical to ask for what I wanted. I finally realized that it was very important and that I needed to learn how to ask. To get over my block of asking for help I created a new paradigm. I encourage you to use this new concept in your life.

1. Point both index fingers in the air and touch the back of your neck with your pointed fingers.
   
2. Still keeping your fingers pointed reach over your head, to your side and touch the base of your spine….You just outlined your angel wings.

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