In countries around the world children are dreaming of the gifts they will receive this month. Many of them will have hopes, expectations and the excitement that they will receive "the gift." Some will be disappointment, when they open their present it will not be what they hoped it would be. Polly wanted a blonde doll but got a brunette. Zach wanted the top of the line but got the middle of the line. Andrea 'knew' she was going to get it&but did not. Mitch believed it would be there under the tree but it wasn't. Sound familiar?

In January we set our goals and predictions of where we would like to be by the end of the year. Some achieved their goals, some did not, while others surpassed their goals. Maybe you expected and 'knew' that you are going to get 'the bonus' or promotion. Perhaps you were 'convinced' that your team would come out winners. You may be so close to reaching your numbers that you are hoping for that one deal that will make your year. We have all been there.

Disappointment is part of life; different people react to disappointment in different ways. Here are some models of coping behaviors people utilize:

The Dramatic

Banging tables, yelling at the top of their lungs, the over flow of tears and possibly throwing things around, having a temper tantrum. This person not only put all their hopes and expectations in one basket, but never thought that there was any possibility that they could lose. They never prepared for the possibility. Maybe they did not put in the best effort because they had magical thinking. They take their loss as a personal affront. They are so focused on themselves, thinking that everything revolves around them, that they feel that everyone should know, feel and see their pain.

The Pity Party

"Nothing good ever happens to me", "Why bother trying it will never happen", "I'm such a loser". This constant chatter is heard by everyone and anyone who happens to be in the area. This person believes that they are a magnet for failure. To outsiders it may even look that way, until you get close to them and see how they continually create situations to 'prove' that they are losers. The fact that they lost is a self fulfilling prophecy.

The Dream Knight/Heroine

This person has been motivating the team from the start. Talking and encouraging the team about what would happen if they won. They talk to themselves the same way. Everyone believed but then they lost. It seems that without missing a beat the Dreame/Heroine seems to have gotten over the loss in two seconds and jumped on another cause/goal/vision. The Dream Knight/Heroine (DKH) immediately rallies about the next cause/goal/vision. "Brush it off, let's go" however while they move on people around them feel taken advantage of and upset. The DKH never acknowledges the loss and disappointment to the people around them. DKH jumps from one goal to the next seemingly without any transition. What happened to the dream? Didn't the Dream Knight/Heroine really believe( was it all a dream/fantasy? How could DKH move on so quickly? Beware DKH, distrust and low morale is brewing because of your actions.

The Stoic

"That's life, just deal with it and move on", "oh well." Often the stoic person has lots of clichés ready to share. Their facial expression and actions seem to be emotionless. Their level of empathy or camaraderie may be non existent. They are there but are not relatable. Often they are aware that others are experiencing extreme emotions, however, they do not relate. For others in their sphere, the stoic behavior communicates a lack of commitment to the success. Often others will blame the stoic for their failure.

The transition phase of disappointment is an important phase for individuals and teams. However, how the disappointment is expressed and dealt with can have lasting effects on future endeavors and goals. How the individual or team has prepared before the win or loss can be determine how the transition phase will be managed.

In this issue Pegine will share how to prepare yourself or your team for the possibility of loss and give you insights of how to be a more effective leader in the face of disappointment.

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With you in mind,
Pegine

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In this months e-zine you'll find:

• Pegine's Thought of the Month
  
• Quote of the Month
  
• Try-its - Simple Steps for Magnificent Rewards
  
• Kick Butt Actions - Strategies to make an impact
  
• News from Pegine
  
• Have You?
  

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